does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize