none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
