that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
