sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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