i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
