i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's always time for handjobs
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
