Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
