Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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