Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
