I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
