the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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