And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
