Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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