if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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