I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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