Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
