He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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