We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
