hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
