About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
