Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
