new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
