Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
