I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
where am i from again
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
