big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
