Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
