A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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