a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize