Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
