If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
