I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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