lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
