So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
