i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
