Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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