apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
