i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
