my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How does one acquire holy water?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize