you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
