He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
