I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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