I faked an abortion last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
