it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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