i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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