i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
