she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
wow bdsm is so cute
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
