Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
