We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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