Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
