is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
