he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
