It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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