I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
