Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
