you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
