Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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