Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
