I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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