i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
