shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
