the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
