it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
