I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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