He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
